I sure do admire it when I hear about couples who have managed to make it through all kinds of marital weather and hit the 5o years mark. I have watched them and wondered who put up with who in order to do so!
Now, I am not sure why or where this comes from, but for some reason it seems that when parents are going to celebrate their 5o years of marriage, their grown kids are supposed to come up with a big idea on how they should celebrate. That seems like it would be a big problem to me...
You mean the 3 or 5 or whatever number of siblings that grew up together, fought and rivaled, and then went separate ways are supposed to come together and agree on a way that their parents should celebrate the big 50? Who came up with that nutty idea ??
When my parents 5oth came up not so long ago, they kept saying they were going to do something special just for themselves...like a trip or something. My sister and I figured that was good, since my brother wasn't' really involved with any family gatherings any way, (another story! ) and so that was something that would work out without us having to plan something we didn't really want to plan. A week before their anniverary, Dad decided they WERE going to have a big celebration with catered food, gospel singing, and a list of other things. Yipes! No amount of pleading would change his mind to at least postpone things so it could be better planned, so my sister and I had the rather embarrassing task of calling people up at the very last minute and asking if they could come help celebrate.
To make a long story short, it did turn out all right, even though I have to say that if my sister and I had planned it ourselves, it would have never been done that way...but if they were happy, I guess that was good. But I still don't understand why the kids are supposed to plan it...
Now, at my husband's side, we are facing another 5oth dilemma. His mom wants to plan her own celebration and her husband told her it wasn't the parent's job to do so..(What????) so she gets irritated and basically said forget it...Hubby's four other siblings have decided they are going to plan it all, (Hubby is not happy about this!) and have planned this big party that will cost an arm and a leg and is basically being planned without his mom's wishes being recognized. (In fact, one of the sons told her to basically stay out of it because they had it taken care of!-(Can you believe the nerve?)
I told Hubby that knowing his mom as I do, a beautiful trip to England would be what her dream 50th celebration would be. She's gone there at least 3 times, with a friend, because my father- in -law refuses to go anywhere like that. He hates traveling. You would think though, that for such a momentous occasion as a 50th that he would swallow his dislike and go on this one trip of a lifetime with her for her sake... but evidently it's not meant to be, though.
Hubby and I have talked about all this mess over and over. We told our teens on the way home from visiting his side just this past holiday that for our 50th ,we want them to stay out of it, let us celebrate it the way we want... which is most likely going to be a private, fun trip with just the two of us...no crowds or kids hovering over us. And in my way of thinking, that is the way it should be. Because that is how it all began, just the two of us!