So, for now, I will post off and on some things I have personally learned while living on this earth...
1. Never call your mother- in- law "Mom", or she will think she is...(Of course, if you really need another mother, you can ignore this....)
2. Never stand next to a lit candle after hairspraying your hair .
3. Do not eat beans and cornbread with apple cider the night before you go on a long trip...you will never get there on time.
4. Don't wear a colored shirt when you are putting bleach into the wash water...or you will end up with a polka dot shirt-or two!
5. Pay attention to which cart is yours in a store..While in line at the store I once started sort of stepping up and down on the bottom bar to pass the time- and the lady in front of me gave me a dirty look and took her cart away from me...(oops, thought it was mine!)
6. People who think they know everything are annoying to us who do.
7. All the bad drivers seem to be out when I go somewhere ...
8. The only one who wants to attend my pity party is me, and that's no fun.
9. Money slips through my fingers like sand.
10. God REALLY does have a sense of humor.... just go to the zoo and see...or the shopping mall.... even church, sometimes!
11. Don't trust someone who says, "I can keep a secret".....
12. You can't buy what really matters in life
13. Remove the bones when making chicken and dumplings
14. When you don't know what to do, dont't do anything until you do know what to do. Do you know what I mean?
15. Be careful what you wish for....you may just get it and then you realize it wasn't what you thought...
16. Think long and hard before you say it ...words can never be retrieved, and people never forget. (I am working on that one!)
17. I need a bib whenever I eat out... I have the stained shirts to prove it.
18. Check your nostrils before a speaking engagement...
19. There will always be someone in your life who annoys you no matter where you are.
20. If something smells no matter where you go, check the bottom of your shoe.
That's it for now, stay tuned for more in the future!